We have all wondered that question from time to time throughout our lives. What is love? Well, love is all there is. We souls are here inside a physical body on earth to learn. We create what are called soul agreements, which are things we agree to learn in a lifetime. Some of us have very big lessons to learn in life and we know this because of the challenges we have gone through that were very powerful. But the ultimate goal is to learn how to love – ourselves and others. Let’s use a fictional client named Betty and go into detail about what causes someone to not love themselves.

Betty came to see me because she was alone and wanted to find out what was causing her to be alone. Betty had been married briefly to a man she described as abusive. She divorced him and remained single ever since. Let’s take a look at this fictional session Betty had. Initially she began to peel away the outer layers of this “being alone”.

All her life Betty felt like the only family member everyone else came to when the proverbial shit hit the fan. Betty released what her subconscious described as a doormat-type behavior. Her subconscious further described her thought that….”I do not matter, family matters.” That thought was inherited from Betty’s father and he inherited it from his father and so on up the family tree. The ancestor who started the thought initially was a 5th generation grandparent who was alive during the time of westward movement in the US when people set off in a covered wagon and headed out west to claim land, build a home, and thrive. Those were very difficult times for early settlers to say the least. That ancestor alive in that generation needed to count on all immediate family members, or else they would not survive as a family. That man thought….”I as an individual do not matter, family matters”. That thought became a belief which then quickly turned into an obsession. The obsessive thought about putting family first was essential during those times of early settlers because without each family member contributing, the family unit might not survive. We can and we do inherit these types of thoughts/beliefs/convictions/obsessions from our ancestors.

In Betty’s case, that 5th generation ancestors thought about putting family first was causing her to take everything that everyone in her family dumped on her. The continual dumping on Betty like a doormat was causing Betty to dislike her family members and the level of stress she felt was affecting her physically by causing stress induced high blood pressure. Betty successfully released the inherited obsessive thought about putting family first and soon found her family members no longer having that in-road to dump on her. Not long after we worked together, Betty contacted me to say her family members had stopped dumping on her altogether because she no longer allowed it. She was very happy that she had this kind of power to stop the drama from affecting her and this led to a drop in her blood pressure.

By choosing to heal herself, Betty now saw how her issue of putting family first was causing her to draw in family members to serve her with just that…….”I will put family before myself.” Now that she released it, she no longer put family before herself. This is one example of self love, and it’s really going within that allows this healing to take place.

So back to our question…..What is love? Again, love is all there is. Are you loving yourself or are you allowing your life lessons to keep you removed from love? Let’s continue with our fictional client Betty.

The next time I saw Betty, her subconscious revealed the root cause of her being alone. Her entire life was spent with 2 parents who did not love themselves, therefore they could not love another. The devastating effects of her parents’ fighting caused Betty to create a vow. A vow is a solemn promise. Betty’s vow was something to this effect……”I vow to never marry or love someone else.”

Whether we actually consciously think or state something out loud – we call it into creation, especially vows. Vows can remain with us from one lifetime to the next. We actually take them with us wherever we go.

Naturally, to be in a home with the parents always fighting with each other, we can understand how Betty would be totally adverse to marriage and love. But what she experienced living with her 2 parents was not love, but 2 people living out their karma, called a karmic relationship. Both parents had been in a relationship in other lifetimes and accumulated karma between them. There is no escaping karma, only the transmuting of karma releases it. So Betty thought that this is what love and marriage looks like and she didn’t want any of it.

Betty released all reasons causing her to think love and marriage were like a war zone and then she broke the vow to never marry or love someone else. This is what causes people to live lives they are not interested in living, which means that consciously, people have no clue why their lives are the way they are. But your subconscious knows why and it’s time to find out what the answers are.

We are each here to learn about love…what love is and how to love. It begins with loving the self, which means you must go within yourself and release all that is not love.

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